The Girls That End in E

The Other 6 Girls You Must Hook Up With — In College or at Least Once In Your Life

Posted by Austin W. Dallas | 0 Comments

The Kitty Kat – She has unbelievably sultry eyes and a collection of leather clothing which makes you wonder exactly how often is she invited backstage to blow all the members of a death metal band. Be prepared, it will be a few days before you can sit comfortably again after her nine tails gets unleashed on your ass.

The Siren – Sure it sounds cool that she sings and plays guitar. I hope you enjoy masturbating with sandpaper, because her unlubricated hand job feels like it came from your Uncle Buddy Ray who works as a Brickmason. Her name wasn’t man hands for no reason you idiot.

The Bibber – Her cocktail of choice is brown drink, straight up. She will be very forward with you right up until you get to the bedroom, then it’s your turn to be in charge. Conveniently there is not a lot of clothes to mess with, because she didn’t bother putting on panties under that excessively short skirt. It will be a tough clam to get into. No need to worry; she will quickly remedy the situation by spitting in her hand to help shuck it open. One word of warning, make one wrong gesture and she will turn on you in an instant. A nonsensical wrath about god knows what will be released, effectively closing down the clam shop until the liquor store opens in the morning.

The Clamper – Pray to Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure and procreation for one night with this woman and you can die happy. The gripping control she has over her Venus fly trap is like nothing you have ever experienced. The blood flows from every corner of your body on the express train southbound when she miraculously pulls you back into her without using her hands. Take this one off the list actually, because if you do not keep her you will probably die lonely and poor as you spend your entire life searching for this experience again.

The AC/DC Lover – This woman is wildly androgynous. She claims outwardly that she is a lesbian, but still flirts with men. She actually loves playing scissors just as much as she loves playing with rocks. If you ever wanted a threesome that won’t haunt you the next day, then make sure the bi-sexual leaning towards the lesbian side is involved. Your girlfriend claiming she wants to have a three-way for you is an absolute nightmare. Trust me on this one; the girlfriend will hammer you with questions about who you liked better the next day and you will wish the experiment never happened. That or last night was just like your job and you’ll be the most underutilized staff in the room.  

The Fifth Mealer – If that load she swallowed is considered the fourth meal than where in the name of Zeus’s bunghole do you think the fifth meal came from? Yup my friend … there! Wash up first otherwise she will be forever known not only as a salad tosser, but also as a gravel diver. WTF is a gravel diver you ask? Read my book Whiskey Soaked Panties to find out the rest of the story.

The Girls That End in "E"

  • Courtney if you want to read about a girl who might be from another planet.
  • Sandy if you want to read about a girl who Facebook stalks and might time travel.
  • Robbie if you want to read about a girl who gave me a red rocket.
  • Allie if you want to read about a girl who likes to play dress up.

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