My name is Austin Dallas. I live in Texas. My parents named me after a city, after our last name already had a city name in it. Now, I live in Dallas. I wrote some stories about the best hookups and the worst hookups in my life. Read some of them in my blog. I wrote a book. It is called Whiskey Soaked Panties. Unfortunately it is not out yet. Sign up if you want me to let you know when it's out and when I make a new post to the blog. Below are some teasers to the stories in my blog and some random things that pop in my head. If you enjoy them then you will love my book.
Where should you start reading? --> The Girls that End in "E".
The Kitty Kat – She has unbelievably sultry eyes and a collection of leather clothing which makes you wonder exactly how often is she invited backstage to blow all the members of a death metal band. Be prepared, it will be a few days before you can sit comfortably again after her nine tails gets unleashed on your ass.
The Firewoman – No she does not have an illustrious Tom Selleck moustache to justify being a fire fighter. Her act of public servitude is an unwavering dedication to the fire started between the sheets. Even unconscious she manages to naturally hose down the blazing inferno you two started. Unfortunately, you wake up soaking wet in a puddle of piss and you assume she is going to think you did it.
Being that my content is a little dirtier than a lot of websites; it does not hold a candle to being as interesting as some of the keywords and phrases that I discover people search for to end up here.
I laughed hard enough to tear up a bit from this little ditty I found on College Humor.
Ever wonder what goofy Christmas cards celebrities might send?
This is a compilation of what some of them might look like.
On the First day of Christmas this hook-up gave to me…
When this guy dances, people run and may jump into the nearest lake.
What kind of sex are you supposed to have on Thanksgiving?
Robin and I were involved in a very casual relationship for a short term. It was one of those end of summer fun times that falls apart before the holidays when some relationships tend to get a little more serious. We were friends before we got involved and she knew not to expect much from me in the emotions department. We had a good time and we enjoyed fooling around, but I think we both knew it was never going to go anywhere. I think she wanted a little more than I was willing to give at the time, but she never pressured anything. It was good most of the time, but there was one episode in our time together…
I have always thought Greek women were sexy. When I lived in Plano on a short stint, a few years ago, there were always olive skinned, well endowed, beautiful girls working at the restaurants up there. I fell for a different waitress or bartender almost every time I went out for dinner.
I want to offer my fans more than my traditional hook up stories so I decided to also start posting restaurant reviews. We will see how it goes, but I am going to try at least one new place every week, maybe every two weeks and post about my experience at various restaurants.
In honor of today being National Sandwich Day, I decided to write a story a friend once told me regarding my favorite sandwich topping...(See title).
Halloween is such a great holiday. Even the girls who normally dress conservatively, end up wearing revealing costumes. After a few years of adult Halloweens the slutty costumes start to add up into a collection. I was “dating” this girl a few years ago that loved to play dress up before getting it on. She had all kinds of outfits: cheerleader, mistress, cop, little bo peep, devil, angel, kitty and a referee. Then one day she pulled out a new one on me.
A woman goes in for colon surgery and has to keep putting gauze on her wound post-operation. Her husband is taking care of her and keeps getting glimpses of her nether regions which still manages to turn him on. He inquires as to whether they can fool around. She turns to him and says.
After an argument with a dumbass:
"If stupidity was currency, you would be Bill Gates."
For the boys:
Blast out with your Mast out
Bling out with your Thing out
Mex out with your Tex out
Roll out with your Pole out
Fair day is by far one of my favorite days to live in Dallas. My friends and I always go on the Saturday of Texas OU weekend. Most of us went to Texas A&M, but we do have a bunch of friends who went to U.T. The fair is super busy on that day, but it thins out just right when the game is going on. We walk around, see the car show, sample the various fair fare, try to avoid getting hustled into buying another set of Sham-Wows. Most of the time is some sort of fried goodness covered in whipped cream and/or chocolate sauce that at least one person has to try. I found my favorite years ago, fried cheesecake, so I usually stick with that. I will try something new on occasion. Someone bought the fried margarita to try out. Soggy batter in sweet & sour mix, mmm mmm not good.
Leaving It In My Beaver
The Untold Stories of Barbara Billingsley
I Touched Twiggy in His Special Place
The Never Before Released Sexual Escapades of Gil Gerard ("Buck Naked" Rogers)
Lady of The Night Court
Markie Post's True Life Battle With Prostitution
Silver Spoons Weren't The First Thing Inside Me
Ricky Shroder's Battle With Child Abuse
Spanked In The Bell Tower
Dennis Haskins Speaks Out About His Secret Relationship With Dustin Diamond
Don Johnson and his Obsession With Threesomes
Who's Really The Boss?
S & M Techniques from Katherine Helmond and Judith Light
Who's The Boss Now?
The Danny Pintauro Kidnappings
I finish up work early today and decide to meet up with a couple friends for a few happy hour beers. We talked a lot about digital marketing and I got called out a few times by Jennifer(Brad’s wife) for checking out the waitress. I could not help myself. I love women and I have such a thing for nose rings. Obviously not the bull hook through the middle, but a diamond stud in the side gets me every single time.
Favorite Movie of all time?
If i was asked to describe the perfect woman she would probably look something like this...