The Girls That End in E

 

My name is Austin Dallas. I live in Texas. My parents named me after a city, after our last name already had a city name in it. Now, I live in Dallas. I wrote some stories about the best hookups and the worst hookups in my life. Read some of them in my blog. I wrote a book. It is called Whiskey Soaked Panties. Unfortunately it is not out yet. Sign up if you want me to let you know when it's out and when I make a new post to the blog. Below are some teasers to the stories in my blog and some random things that pop in my head. If you enjoy them then you will love my book.

Where should you start reading? --> The Girls that End in "E".

This Guy Has figured out the formula to Crazy Women

Posted by on 1 August 2014 | 0 Comments

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The Other 6 Girls You Must Hook Up With — In College or at Least Once In Your Life

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 6 June 2013 | 0 Comments

The Kitty Kat – She has unbelievably sultry eyes and a collection of leather clothing which makes you wonder exactly how often is she invited backstage to blow all the members of a death metal band. Be prepared, it will be a few days before you can sit comfortably again after her nine tails gets unleashed on your ass.

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The 6 Girls You Must Hook Up With — In College or at Least Once In Your Life

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 6 June 2013 | 0 Comments

The Firewoman – No she does not have an illustrious Tom Selleck moustache to justify being a fire fighter. Her act of public servitude is an unwavering dedication to the fire started between the sheets. Even unconscious she manages to naturally hose down the blazing inferno you two started. Unfortunately, you wake up soaking wet in a puddle of piss and you assume she is going to think you did it.

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Searches people do to arrive on austinwdallas.com

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 17 August 2012 | 0 Comments

Being that my content is a little dirtier than a lot of websites; it does not hold a candle to being as interesting as some of the keywords and phrases that I discover people search for to end up here.

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The Flip Side Bar

Posted by on 8 February 2012 | 0 Comments

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Siri Knows Best

Posted by on 26 October 2011 | 0 Comments

Siri, I need a happy ending

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99 Words for Boobs

Posted by on 25 August 2011 | 0 Comments

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My Balls by Your Favorite Martian

Posted by on 28 January 2011 | 0 Comments

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Happy New Year

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 31 December 2010 | 0 Comments

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Wrong Hole Song

Posted by on 22 December 2010 | 0 Comments

I laughed hard enough to tear up a bit from this little ditty I found on College Humor.

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Celebrity Christmas Cards

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 21 December 2010 | 0 Comments

Ever wonder what goofy Christmas cards celebrities might send?
This is a compilation of what some of them might look like.

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Twelve Days of Austin's Christmas

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 9 December 2010 | 0 Comments

On the First day of Christmas this hook-up gave to me…

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The new lord of the dance, Diego Rodrigues to Pa panamericano (funny video)

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 29 November 2010 | 0 Comments

When this guy dances, people run and may jump into the nearest lake.

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Turkey Trots (Thanksgiving Jokes)

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 25 November 2010 | 0 Comments

What kind of sex are you supposed to have on Thanksgiving?

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Robbie

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 19 November 2010 | 0 Comments

Robin and I were involved in a very casual relationship for a short term. It was one of those end of summer fun times that falls apart before the holidays when some relationships tend to get a little more serious. We were friends before we got involved and she knew not to expect much from me in the emotions department. We had a good time and we enjoyed fooling around, but I think we both knew it was never going to go anywhere. I think she wanted a little more than I was willing to give at the time, but she never pressured anything. It was good most of the time, but there was one episode in our time together…

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Helen (Restaurant Review)

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 12 November 2010 | 0 Comments

I have always thought Greek women were sexy. When I lived in Plano on a short stint, a few years ago, there were always olive skinned, well endowed, beautiful girls working at the restaurants up there. I fell for a different waitress or bartender almost every time I went out for dinner.

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Restaurant Review: SMOKE (WARNING: Actual review, not humorous)

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 5 November 2010 | 0 Comments

I want to offer my fans more than my traditional hook up stories so I decided to also start posting restaurant reviews. We will see how it goes, but I am going to try at least one new place every week, maybe every two weeks and post about my experience at various restaurants.

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Panties, Panties, Panties

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 3 November 2010 | 0 Comments

In honor of today being National Sandwich Day, I decided to write a story a friend once told me regarding my favorite sandwich topping...(See title).

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Allie

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 1 November 2010 | 0 Comments

Halloween is such a great holiday. Even the girls who normally dress conservatively, end up wearing revealing costumes. After a few years of adult Halloweens the slutty costumes start to add up into a collection. I was “dating” this girl a few years ago that loved to play dress up before getting it on. She had all kinds of outfits: cheerleader, mistress, cop, little bo peep, devil, angel, kitty and a referee. Then one day she pulled out a new one on me.

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Surgery Joke

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 29 October 2010 | 0 Comments

A woman goes in for colon surgery and has to keep putting gauze on her wound post-operation. Her husband is taking care of her and keeps getting glimpses of her nether regions which still manages to turn him on. He inquires as to whether they can fool around. She turns to him and says.

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Austin's Quotes

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 29 October 2010 | 0 Comments

After an argument with a dumbass:
"If stupidity was currency, you would be Bill Gates."

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Rock Out Rhymes

Posted by Austin W. Dallas & Friends on 29 October 2010 | 0 Comments

For the boys:
Blast out with your Mast out
Bling out with your Thing out
Mex out with your Tex out
Roll out with your Pole out

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Sandy

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 8 October 2010 | 0 Comments

Fair day is by far one of my favorite days to live in Dallas. My friends and I always go on the Saturday of Texas OU weekend. Most of us went to Texas A&M, but we do have a bunch of friends who went to U.T. The fair is super busy on that day, but it thins out just right when the game is going on. We walk around, see the car show, sample the various fair fare, try to avoid getting hustled into buying another set of Sham-Wows. Most of the time is some sort of fried goodness covered in whipped cream and/or chocolate sauce that at least one person has to try. I found my favorite years ago, fried cheesecake, so I usually stick with that. I will try something new on occasion. Someone bought the fried margarita to try out. Soggy batter in sweet & sour mix, mmm mmm not good.

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Austin's Books of the Week

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 6 October 2010 | 0 Comments

Leaving It In My Beaver
The Untold Stories of Barbara Billingsley

I Touched Twiggy in His Special Place
The Never Before Released Sexual Escapades of Gil Gerard ("Buck Naked" Rogers)

Lady of The Night Court

Markie Post's True Life Battle With Prostitution

Silver Spoons Weren't The First Thing Inside Me
Ricky Shroder's Battle With Child Abuse

Spanked In The Bell Tower
Dennis Haskins Speaks Out About His Secret Relationship With Dustin Diamond

Miami Thrice
Don Johnson and his Obsession With Threesomes

Who's Really The Boss?
S & M Techniques from Katherine Helmond and Judith Light   

Who's The Boss Now?
The Danny Pintauro Kidnappings

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Courtney

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 4 October 2010 | 0 Comments

I finish up work early today and decide to meet up with a couple friends for a few happy hour beers. We talked a lot about digital marketing and I got called out a few times by Jennifer(Brad’s wife) for checking out the waitress. I could not help myself. I love women and I have such a thing for nose rings. Obviously not the bull hook through the middle, but a diamond stud in the side gets me every single time.

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Austin's First Date Icebreakers (WARNING: Real advice, not humorous)

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 1 October 2010 | 0 Comments

Favorite Movie of all time?

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My Perfect Woman

Posted by Austin W. Dallas on 15 September 2010 | 0 Comments

If i was asked to describe the perfect woman she would probably look something like this... 

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